At the outset of doing the Sam’s 50/50-2012 I talked about the year as a scale and hoping for it being out of balance with more positive and amazing things over the sad and downside…well today the scale tipped to the down side as we learned of my wife’s cousin in Calgary taking his own life.
Sure he had personal issues and seemed to be dealing and coping with them. We are all left wondering if we missed a sign or something to indicate that all was not well. I suppose his silence in the end spoke volumes. It is something I can not comprehend…the taking of one’s own life. It is tragic and now everyone’s lives are all turned upside down and they are all asking questions of why and what. Why did he do it, why did he not come to us, what prompted him to think this through and carry it out, what could I have done?
The blog posts here are reminders to us that there is the extraordinary in the ordinary and while we may be drowning in negativity, we must look beyond this and seek out the reasons why you choose life over death. Life is not perfect but if we have negativity, we stare at it like it is all consuming…hidden amidst the storm of negativity are anchors. We need to latch on to those anchors with dear life till the storm passes…and pass it will. When I am in a down day or mood, I reflect on the things that make me smile and they are often the little things…the extraordinary imbedded in the ordinary.
I guess in my last words here today, if there is anyone out there even remotely thinking about taking their own life…DON’T. You are not in this by yourself. You may think the world is against you but it is not. There are any number of people who care about you. Seek out help please. http://www.suicidehotlines.com/canada.html
If you are someone totally random who happened upon this site and this post…I care. Share this with anyone who is struggling with life. Life is too precious. Choose life over death and seek help…NOTHING in life is so overpowering that you need to take an early exit. I am not looking to save a life but if my writing helps you, then it is all worth doing. I am hopeful that the scales will tip back to the positive side the next time I write but for now…will wait for this storm to pass.
ps – not a great couple of days as I just found out about the loss of a community leader in David Holtzman. Yesterday about a family member and today about David. He died of a heart attack. I am just thankful that I got to get to know this person and he was a compassionate individual who greatly cared for the community – http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/Holtzman_dies_suddenly_of_heart_attack-11809.aspx#.T4TrgTUaTZY.facebook
I’m so sorry to hear about Sadhna’s cousin, Sam. My mom’s best friend took his life last year. Similar situation in terms of going through a rough patch, but we thought he was on the mend. It’s heartbreaking to know what they went through, and to try to understand why the option to seek help didn’t get chosen. The guilt that my mother holds is hard to take in…she was always there for him and would’ve done anything to help, had she only known. If you’re reading this, there are people who want to listen and help you get through this.
Yah Mercedes. Difficult to understand the why and what could I have done. I am sorry to hear about your mom’s best friend…you never forget.
By the way…will be back after April 16th so look forward to seeing you. Lots of appreciation for you my friend.
Sam